The Pontificators

One beautiful summer evening as I was driving home from work, the inside of my vehicle became the meat in a twisted three car sandwich. The resulting brain damage left me often unable to understand simple language or know the names of my children.

A few months later, a tumor in my neck needed to be removed. The surgeon spent four hours to complete an estimated ninety minute surgical prodecure removing a fibrous growth wrapped around my vocal chords. I was told that the only side affect I might suffer as a result would be the inability to sing.

Fearful that I might never sing again, I bought an accompaniment tape of a medley including this song. I was drawn to the beautiful instrumental arrangement. Daily I would sing with this tape; soon for hours. I had to read the words… I was unable to understand or memorize them. The neurologist could not reassure me that I would ever recover.

Now, years later, I can truly say that everything I am and can do is a result of my precious Lord’s tenderness and mercy. He healed me and gave me back my life and my voice.

He also gave me this song so that I would always remember.

Just as I am without one plea
But that Thy blood was shed for me
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee
O Lamb of God, I come
I come

In Sept 2008 our mother passed. In May 2009 our father left us as well.

For the month following Pop’s demise, my body held me captive with a hideous flu for sixteen days followed by two mobility accidents where I wound up on crutches, remaining so even today. Being the oldest of my generation, I have become the matriarch of our branch of the family by default. It is odd but known to be a probable eventually. Nonetheless, unwelcome and settling at the same time.

For the past few days there is a sadness that eludes description. I guess numb is beginning to wear off. I loved my Pop so much (despite his brutality to Ma) that I am flayed raw by his leaving. My Ma was my very best friend. Do not know when I can approach normal. (What IS normal anyway?) I only know that my world is coloured by glasses dark with loss and grief.

I beg understanding and patience from all of you incredibly precious family members while I get my sea legs. I know they are on the way but I cannot predict when they wlll arrive for good as they come and go at present.

Kisses,
Melodi

P.S.
More than just a post script is my gratefulness and sympathy for my Alvin and his incredibly beautiful wife. In closest proximity, they have taken on (for years) the care of our parents. I cannot express my indebtedness for your accountability and willingness to be there for them both. Our Lord will hear of your love and self sacrafice as I will surely testify.

Much Love,
Sister