Wow...
It could always be worse…
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Why am I happy when I wake up in the morning?
Saturday, March 14th, 2009A memo to the file…
Saturday, March 14th, 2009Memo to the File from Furnando
Subject: troubles with line cook Slav Putnik
Date: 9/18/06
This letter is a faithful narrative of all my dealings with Slav Putnik, our little shrimp of a broiler cook. I’ve spoken to him on several occasions about his behavior while on the clock, and he has failed to acquiesce to my requests. He is guilty of repeatedly making the following infractions:
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The drunken troll’s lament, a haiku.
Saturday, March 14th, 2009Grunts slurred and tusks bared,
This inebriated oaf,
Bottles up sorrow.
Because Charlie is an inspiration to us all.
Safe Assumptions
Saturday, March 14th, 2009Surely he's done with his coffee;
the brown, watery drinkage makes
restless, cold, curly designs
in an oily, speckled, cup.
It's only half full.
He's not here.
He's in the other room.
I'll just pour it down the sink,
watch it swirl around and down
like a black toilet bowl.
Up drifts the odor of ashes and tuna fish.
The coffee is gone, never to return.
Alas! he comes,
seeking the restorative brew.
It's said
when you assume,
you make an
ass of u and me.
Sigh...
what a tired ass he be.
(C) 2009 thepontificators.com
The Innocent Observer
Friday, March 13th, 2009I had this dream not too long ago, in which I participated not at all, but rather bore witness as an innocent observer. I have only rarely had dreams of this sort, and this one was particularly vivid. Also, I usually forget most of what I dream within 15 minutes of waking up. This one stuck with me, however. So I felt inclined to share it—partly because it was an extraordinary dream experience, and partly because—ha!–I have nothing else to share right now.
The Dream begins.
The Solipsism Diet
Friday, March 13th, 2009If it’s true that you’re the only one who exists and everyone else is a figment of your imagination, would you imagine me thinner please?
A quick one
Friday, March 13th, 2009A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother.
Shropshire
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009I went to the Fair not too long ago, just looking for some kettle-corn induced excitement. There’s something nice and homey about fairs that I can’t quite put my finger on. It might be the smell of hot dogs being grilled at every other booth. Or it might be the mobile homes that are pulled up along the outskirts of the fairgrounds, their doors open and their insides spilling out into the grass. Whatever it is, I dove into the crowd with a heady anticipation of good times.
