Making a good hamburger is an art. Making them eight at a time is a science.
You Will Need
8 frozen quarter-pound hamburger patties, 80% lean
Hamburger buns
Sliced cheese
Hamburger sauce (recipe below)
Sliced onions or sliced pickled sweet banana peppers
You may have noticed The The Pontificators’ main page and search results page have ad banners along the right hand side now. W00t! We have sold out! At least we would, if anyone was buying. The chain of reasoning behind the ads goes something like this:
In other words:
Phase 1: Start thepontificators.com
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!!!
So I hooked up with Google’s Adsense program, along with Powell’s Books and Emusic.com. Go over there right now and click all those ads, willya? Thanks.
Adsense is kinda cool, because Google somehow monitors page content and serves ads related to what is on the same page. And (full disclosure) every time someone clicks on one of those ads The Pontificators get a little love, anywhere from 10 or 20 cents to over a buck. Heck, if you sign up for an Emusic.com free trial, we get *SIX* bucks. So do that now too please. Operators are standing by.
So the first day or so that the Google ads were up, there was an ad for MyJewishLearning.com. Sign up for free Jewish recipes in your email. So I clicked on it. I figured, hey, win-win-win. I like any kind of food; I like Jewish food, what I know of it; and I’m interested in all things Jewish from a cultural and historical perspective. PLUS I get some $love$ for my click.
Here is my report: MyJewishLearning.com is pretty cool. I get a couple emails a week; they’re not spam-bombing me. I have clicked through to the main site and it’s nicely put together. Of the skillion pages on the intarweb, I’m glad I learned about this one. They even have an all-things-Jewish-for-Dummies series of flash videos called Tod and God. In Episode 3, God, a redheaded female genie DJ, tells Tod how and why to hang a mezuzah. What could be more awesome?
In other news, I didn’t get my nickel. I don’t know why. Maybe Google somehow knew I was the owner of the page, and won’t pay me for my own clicks, the nefarious bastards.
You might have noticed that I have mentioned MyJewishLearning.com a half dozen times, but haven’t linked it. That’s because I’m hoping all these mentions of the site and other Jewish things will make the link come up OVER THERE >>>>> (pointing to Google AdSense).
Because if you click it there, we get some love. And everybody needs love, baby.
I had a dream in the still of the day
It shook me to my bones
I dreamed I got up and I went to the door
But the sun no longer shone
There were people millin all around
I could see them from where I stood
They were cryin and holdin out their hands
But I could do them no good
‘Cause I’d slept too long
And the sun was gone
I’d slept too long
And the sun was gone
I’m a computer programmer by trade; pity me.
The mental habits that twenty years of software development forces upon one have many disadvantages: we tend to break things into pieces instead of seeing them whole; we believe that solutions which don’t bear up under logical scrutiny are unacceptable; and we like the rhythm of lists of three items even when we can only think of two.
But they have advantages too. Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty comfortable with Boolean arithmetic, that strange math whose operands are True and False and whose operators are And, Or, Xor, and Not. So now I will exhibit some developer’s hubris (another occupational hazard) and apply Boolean arithmetic to some of the big philosophical questions.
1. A wacko in a mobile home.
Today I read a piece in my local paper about community reactions to the “Day of Silence” event in schools. For those of you who missed hearing about it, it’s an event where students are silent for a day (except when called on by a teacher), in support of gay students who keep silent and hide who they are for fear of harassment. It’s an expression of support, and is intended neither to proselytize nor to disrupt. Once again, those who are against fair and equal treatment for gays used the argument that gay people are demanding special consideration for a lifestyle choice, and they should just get over it. They should stop being wrong and start being some other way, like good normal people.
There’s just one thing, though: my daughter is gay.
Rocks glass
Rocks
Bourbon (Jack Daniels or Maker’s Mark)
Amaretto
Make a typical bourbon on the rocks, but put a splash of Amaretto in the top. To make this drink correctly, you should then stir it with your index finger, and suck the finger clean while making loud smacking sounds.
I had some Amaretto left over from a recipe, and couldn’t figure out how else to drink it — the stuff is so damn sweet. I found that mixing it with bourbon cut the sweetness and made an interesting drink.
A man; Nantucket
Something about a bucket
Snappy punchline here
Vernal Equinox –
Beat me with daffodils and
Make me weak with love
It’s been said that St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland in the fifth century. To make up for it, the Irish have been drinking until they see snakes ever since.
It has also been said that an Irish man would step over the bodies of twelve naked women to get to a bottle of whisky; my personal limit is five.
